why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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