Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
