We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
