Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize