My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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