I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
