her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
