it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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