So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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