i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
