if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
