drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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