so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
