Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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