Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
