Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
