Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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