The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
