It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
