My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
