but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
