I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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