Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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