We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
