you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
