is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
