You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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