Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
