You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
