Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
