I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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