Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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