You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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