i think my tv is drunk
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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