I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
