Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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