I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
