If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
