I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
