their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
