Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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