hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
did i walk over a car last night?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
