So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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