I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
