apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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