I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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