Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Two words: blizzard sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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