yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
