Joe is yelling at the trees again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
