Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
