I CAN MOONWALK!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
