sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
