And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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