Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize