i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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