Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
