You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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