You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
