so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
