This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
