Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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