Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
