he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
