Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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